Using AI for self-reflection

Image by Markus Winkler from Pixabay

A verbal processors alternative to journaling.

I have known for a long time that I am a verbal processor. I have always talked in my head, a by-product of not being very visual. I can remember when I trained in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Processing) we learned about Representation Systems, which is the way in which you create your world internally. Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic being the most common ones and in NLP another which is Auditory Digital, which is self-talk.

I can remember one of the first times we were practising hypnosis and the exercise was to hypnotise someone so that they thought they had one of their hands in a bucket of ice. I tried first and was blessed with a very visual partner who easily created the bucket, felt her hand go cold and even saw it go red. Unfortunately, for her, I was not as easy a subject.

As she described the bucket and the ice and the cold, I was busy in my head talking to myself about what kind of bucket it was, the colour, the size and the volume of ice and by the time the exercise was over my hand was as warm as it had been when we started. It took me months to be able to focus on a visual without talking and not until I started practicing mindfulness regularly could I really be hypnotised,

Verbal processing and personal development.

Being a verbal processor means I need to talk about something to be able to make sense of it. I guess it is partly why I am a teacher and a coach and why I prefer to read rather than watch videos when I am learning something. Although, I do love a classroom setting where I can ask questions. It also means I talk to myself a lot. I often have competing voices with each asking different questions to help me expand my understanding and it is why my husband knows a lot about psychology and criminology and meditation, despite having never attended any of my classes.

One of my biggest struggles has been adopting some of the most commonly recommended self-reflection tools such as journaling. I have never been able to journal. I have tried, many times. Unfortunately, every time I do it ends up like a child's diary that records facts about my day but no reflection. Instead, I have always either used meditation with a chosen topic or my preferred method, a willing listener.

Over the years I have had great listeners and over the past decade they have taken the shape of therapists and coaches, with coaching being my preferred option. However, you cannot bring everything to these settings, one being it not fair on your friends and two being my coach does not need to be there for everything I am reflecting on. This is especially relevant when I am trying to figure out a health issue and my next steps or how to advocate for myself with a specialist when I feel I am being dismissed, it happens more often than I care to consider.

Image by Peter Lomas from Pixabay

AI for self-reflection.

I have being using AI for some work purposes for a while now, such as creating exam questions or for ideas for classroom activities. All incredibly useful. I don't use it for writing, as I prefer to write in my own voice, and so you will often find errors in my blogs, which AI may have spotted if I had used it.

Recently, I had a health issue that was getting worse. I had considered all the usual suspects, having chronic illness means I know what to look for but nothing was helping. I decided to try Gemini AI as I had my suspicions as to what it could be and figured it would save me time instead doing what I usually do, reading endless articles and websites to find an answer. Sue enough within minutes my suspicions were confirmed and unlike going to a doctor I was able to add in multiple other variables to see if I was wrong. The following day I booked an appointment with a GP and after an examination I was started on treatment and as of today, 3 weeks later, I am starting to feel better.

This got me thinking about what else I could use AI for and so I created a prompt telling it that I needed a listening space as a verbal processor to discuss something I was trying to understand. I told it how I wanted it to behave, asking questions, paraphrasing and giving feedback and allowing me time to give some background to the situation. Before I share how I got on, I have to say that this is not a substitute for working with a real person. However, it was helpful for teasing out some things that gave me more clarity before I spoke to someone about it. Just as it had with my GP.

The Pros.

Even though I was typing I found it was great to be able to get everything down, even stuff I hadn't thought of. Having it reflect back and ask questions was helpful as it served the same purpose as a person, without me feeling that I was overloading them or that maybe some things needed to be censored because it was something I didn't want to share. Almost, as having coach feedback what you said, reading through the summaries and the AI's comments gave me insights that I wouldn't have had if I had sat in reflection or journaled. The feeling that someone was there listening is what my verbal processing needs, it's not just the talking, it's the being heard and having it reflected back by someone else.

The Cons.

AI is only as good as your prompts. I did a good job of helping it understand what I needed but because it's not human, it didn't know when to stop. The benefit of being in the room with someone is that they can see when your train of thought has come to a conclusion or can ask if you feel you have what you are looking for. Despite saying that I had what I needed as regards insights, it kept going. It would reflect back again and ask another question. When I wasn't well this was exhausting. I quickly remembered it was not human so I could stop at any point so I started doing the thumbs up for an answer I felt was the last one and stopping the process.

Gemini AI doesn't keep any conversations in the free version. if I wanted to keep it, I had to copy and paste the conversation into a document so I could look back later. Not the worst thing but not helpful if there was a juicy titbit and you logged out by mistake.

You need to be a fairly high level reflector already to get the most from it. I am big on introspection and I reflect daily. I challenge myself to see things from multiple sides and I read extensively so that I am seeing both sides of an argument, even if the other side is something I don't agree with. If you are not used to doing this, it could be easy to fall into the trap of confirmation bias and not push yourself to expand your thinking.

Lastly, it's not human. No matter how much it can respond to you, it still doesn't have the nuance or artistry of working with a coach. It validated me a lot, it didn't challenge me. I know I could have prompted it to do that but that's also the point I am making. If it was with a coach, they would know you needed that and do it anyway.

Despite the cons, I still found it useful. It is now additional tool in my reflection toolkit. I don't have to ask permission, or wait for someone to be free to explore a topic. I can type away and even if it is not human, I can at least get a good starting point to do some more in-depth work with a real coach. For a verbal processor, like me, it's a great tool for helping shape your thoughts and not feel like you are talking into the void. Try it out and let me know what you think.

Thanks fore reading. I hope our paths cross again in future. My calendar is open if you are interested in coaching.

With love,

Elfreda