Tips and thoughts on how to have a great life.
|Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on January 25, 2019 at 8:15 AM||comments (1)|
As many of you who follow my blogs post or who know me will know, I am no stranger to heartbreak and loss. When my parents passed away, in my twenties, I had no mindfulness practice to see me through that challenging time. In more recent years I’ve lost two uncles, my father in law as well as two cats and a dog. When each of these occasions arose, I returned to the present moment as best as I could and although I was sad, I was able to cope much better than I had previously.
As I write today my beloved dog McLovin is very ill with a suspected brain tumour, how much time he has or whether he will recover enough to have some time left is uncertain. Times like these have the ability to pull you from the present moment very easily, like leaving money at the atm in a supermarket, only for a staff member to find you after a customer had handed it in, that happened yesterday. That situation had two lessons for me, one is that I need to be more present and the second was that there are some kind and honest people out there in the world.
I am acutely aware that when I dwell on what’s happening, I fall into tears and a sense of loss but if I bring myself to what is here, right now, I can still work and take care of what’s important but most importantly be there for my ill dog. It is every easy to slide into the past, remembering how he was before, going over the events in the run up to this day, wondering what we could have done differently and yet none of that will change where I am now, other than make it harder. If I rush ahead to the future, I am consumed with potential grief, loss and imagining my life without him. This is neither useful or beneficial either.
Staying in the present allows me to be with my emotions as they arise, letting them ebb and flow knowing that they will soon pass to be replaced by another. Focusing on what is right in front of me keeps me in the here and now and helps me to experiencing gratitude for what I have. I am glad that Mc’s illness gives me time to prepare for what is yet to come. I am grateful for all people who are supporting me and James through this, friends, family and the veterinary staff who have all been so kind. I am grateful for the concerned comments from colleagues and neighbours as they enquire about his welfare and I am grateful for my mindfulness practice that keeps pulling me back to the present.
I cannot know what will happen but for now I can rest in what is within my power and allow myself to experience the fullness of my life in each passing moment.
Thanks for reading. If you want to get in touch PM me, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
I hope our paths cross gain in future,
Elfreda (Mind Coach, Trainer & Meditation Instructor)
|Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on December 27, 2018 at 4:30 AM||comments (0)|
As the year draws to a close it is time to reflect before beginning the New Year. Practising gratitude is a regular part of my life and as I am sure many of you may know it is an essential practice in Positive Psychology. The Count Your Blessings intervention has been made well known by the father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman. This time of year, is a time of huge gratitude for me as I look back on all I’ve achieved, gained, received and shared in this past year.
As a year 2018 has been an eventful one. There have been many changes for me, some disappointments and health issues. However, each of the challenges I faced brought me more gratitude as I realised how amazing and supportive the people in my life are. I have also been blessed with sharing my time with some wonderful people. To all of you who attended classes, listened to me speak and sat opposite me in a coaching session, I am truly grateful. You are the reason I do what I do, and your presence encouraged me to get out of bed even on those days it was struggle.
To my colleagues, those I teach with, train with and my fellow coaches, you are a constant source of support and encouragement. I know when no-one else may see my social media posts one of you will always respond. You encourage me to be my best and challenge me to push my boundaries. This past year some of you have gone above and beyond to support me and help me, especially when things got difficult. I won’t name you but if you are reading this you know who you are.
I am also blessed with a wonderful network of friends, family and loved ones. It is always a joy to be around people who get me and who will accept me, warts and all.
Next year is already looking exciting. I have seen more clients in the past few months than I ever have before and thanks to you and all the referrals I already have bookings for the New Year. I will be speaking in schools to students and staff and delivering lots of mindfulness, well-being, confidence and stress management courses. My studies will continue and by May I will have my Post Graduate certificate in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology, the first step in my Masters. It’s all very exciting and I can’t wait.
I wish all of you a very Happy New Year, I hope it brings much joy, success and achievement. Thank you for all the comments, Likes, Loves and Shares, you have no idea how much it helps.
I hope our paths cross again in the New Year,
Elfreda (Feeling Grateful)